Hello Arrancars, Good-bye My Life!
by TootsieRollGirl
Summary: A trio of really good friends have pretty happy lives. It's not half-bad. And then they get kidnapped, by this really annoying, very aggressive group of people. Now if only the guy with the pink hair wasn't the only one that knew how to fully speak english...
1. Chapter 1

**HELLO, PEOPLE! I am starting this new fanfic along with another. I do not own Bleach, But I do own the OCs in this fic. (Including the stereotypical Queen Bitch, Shirley)**

**ENJOY~~~ (HOPEFULLY)**

"BIATCH, DID YOU JUST IGNORANTLY INSULT MY BLEACH?!" Yelled a furious teenager, who was being held back by no one but the possibility of suspension... _Again_.

"Um, yeah. I'm sorry did you, like, not hear the _first_ time? This little ugly comic book looks retarded. I mean, look at the characters! What thing has random bone pieces on their faces, and what is up with that one?" The girl directly across from the pissed off girl, Shirley, said all while holding up the manga.

"Bitch, if you do not give me back my fucking manga, I will promise you unimaginable tortures of every kind. You don't watch things like Saw and **not** get a couple of ideas in the process," Said the brunette as she reached into her pocket in a threatening way. Shirley just smirked at her.

"I don't know what type of weapon you have right now freak, but if you pull it out you'll get suspended, again, for the very last time," The blonde grinned in a sadistic way ", And if you try and anything I'll just rip all of the pages in this book!"

The brunette pictured various scenes in which Shirley had been brutally murdered.

'Don't want to get expelled so no weapons today, if I can be quick enough I'll just punch this bitch grab Bleach, and run like hell,' The brunette shifted a little to get ready to charge. 'One, two, three!'

"Hey, babe!" said blonde bitch's (A personal nickname for Shirley) boyfriend.

'Fuck. Can't do shit with witnesses!'

Her boyfriend, Jason by the way, gently took the manga from her hands. "Where'd this come from?"

"Your girlfriend's a bitch, all things she says are lies, and gimme back my BLEACH!" The last item on the girl's list came out rushed as she finally snatched her often read manga, and sprinted down the almost empty hallways.

As she scanned the school parking lot, the girl spotted her get-away vehicle and two good friends. Her friends lifted their eyes to the girl and opened the back door to the dark blue van.

"Hey, 'bout time you got out here. What took you?", Inquired the brunette's friend, who was dubbed "Icy" way back into their early years.

"Slutty, blonde, and annoying decided to take my precious. I would've gotten here sooner had her boy not shown up. But, hey, he was a good distraction for her. So, I took it and ran," Said the brunette as she motioned wildly. She got into the van, and situated herself in the bean bag chair in the back.

"Yeah, that's fine and stuff, but... The important stuff is what I need... Did you find it?..." Icy left her question hanging, all the while grinning at her friend. Upon hearing the question, the other girl, Tabby, also turned around in her seat.

Both watched closely as the brunette smiled wide and slowly pulled out the object of all of their interests. A male porno magazine.

"Lilly... If I wasn't straight, I'd love you for this," Stated Tabby as she snatched at the magazine.

"Hey, Share that crap! Do you know how long it takes to find male porno magazines?! Every other one is just boobs everywhere!" Exclaimed Lilly.

Icy took the porno from Tabby, "Yeah, Tabbs, share!" Icy started flipping through the pages with a pervy grin.

"Daaaaayyyyaaaam, look at this one!" Everybody in the van craned their necks over to the picture. Tabby cat-called while Lilly just took on a pervy grin as well.

"Makes ya' wish that Mello was real... And a nude male model," Tabby said.

"Screw Mello, what about older Near? Ohhhh, IF ONLY!" Icy lightly smacked Lilly.

"I'm pretty sure that makes you a pedo. He looks ten."

"Have you seen the one-shot? One of the panels just screams out to me," Tabby and Icy gave Lilly incredulous looks," 'I'm pure visual eye sex! If I were real you wouldn't be able to resist the temptation!'"

Tabby shook her head, "Poor, poor Lill. The mangas are talking to her. What ever shall we do, Ice?"

"I have no idea. Tabbs, let's go! Let's go back to the apartment."

The car ride to the apartment was loud, and when the old van rolled not-so smoothly into the drive way everyone picked up their stuff and got out.

"I don't know man, but I'm still amazed that we all managed to convince even my parents that we should get an apartment," Tabby said as she whistled.

"Dude, we're all eighteen and over," Lilly looked at Tabby, "Or are you secretly fifteen?"

"If you idiots don't hurry up I'm taking over the house."

Lilly and Tabby lightly bantered as they quickly walked to the open door. They all owned this one small apartment, with one bedroom and bath. Though it often got kinda cramped in the space, they all sucked it up for the most part.

"Home Sweet home," murmured Tabby as she flinged open the fridge, looking contemplative for a few seconds and grabbed a can of root beer. Lilly glared and went over to the fridge herself.

"That better not be my last can!"

"Calm yourself. Your caffeine isn't gone," Tabby flopped onto the old couch, "yet."

"Fuck you."

Icy walked in the living room from the bathroom and flopped onto the couch beside Tabby. Lilly went over and picked up the remote. After various different channels flickered on and off the screen Icy snatched the remote from the brunette.

"I don't think there's anything on T.V."

From there the night went normally for the three girls. Tabby, Lilly, and Icy had had a Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros. tournament (complete with a ring of betting on who'd win with all computer players), and some time on Netflix.

"Bye," Lilly yawned after saying that and walked into the bedroom. The Bedroom was simple and plain with a tall black bookcase, another T.V., a miniature closet which Icy got the right to. Lilly pulled on her purple pajama pants and simply left on her grell t-shirt.

As she slipped into the bottom bunk she quietly murmured about gay guys as best friends.

"Lilly!" She felt someone shaking her, violently, "Damn it, let me sleeeep..."

"Lilly!"

"Damnit!" She felt a kick to her abdomen, "Wake the fuck up, and stop groping yourself!"

"Ughh, can't I just sleep... And I wasn't groping myself." Lilly opened her eyes and found herself face to face to a familiar pair of hazel eyes. Very frantic hazel eyes.

"We've been kidnapped!" That fully awoke Lilly.

"What?!" Lilly looked up at Icy and then swiveled her head trying to examine the room she was in. It was horribly only white like what an asylum would look like, but had a couple of pieces of furniture. There was also one barred window on the far wall that was showing a crescent moon.

"Do you know exactly what happened?" Inquired Lilly while she still gazed towards the window.

"If I did, do you think we'd be here? Honestly! I was a part of a gang for three years! I would've heard someone poking around! BUT, here we are sitting in this hellhole," Icy said this part with disgust," all I know right now Lilly is that, there is something seriously wrong... And last I checked the rivals never heard where I had moved too."

"... What do you think happened to Tabby?" Lilly moved her sight back to Icy. She had a grave expression on her face and didn't answer for awhile.

"I don't know. But I don't think that it can be good."

Lilly and Icy sat in an uncomfortable silence for awhile in the dark, before they could hear some footsteps. They shot each other anxious looks before hiding behind the couch. As they heard the door open their hearts slowed. Neither of them knew what was going to happen. Lilly shut her eyes as hard as she could. 'I don't want to die!'

Icy could hear the mystery person coming closer. She was trying to formulate any sort of plan to attack. Granted normally she had a weapon on hand for times like these. 'Ah, shit! He's even closer!' Icy gritted her teeth in an angry snarl. 'No time to think! Just attack!'

Icy internally braced herself and when the person finally got close enough...

"Uh?" Icy's kick that she had aimed for any where near the guy's stomach had been blocked. During this period of time she had gotten a good look at the face of the person. He had on a crazily pissed expression, as well as a strange jaw bone on the right side of his face. Laying right there on the side of his face. 'What the hell is going on; What type of gang did we get kidnapped by?!'

The man said something in a foreign language which sounded suspiciously like... Japanese? and threw Icy onto the ground, forcedly. She hit her head hard on the ground and looked up while she was lying on the floor and happened to notice one other figure in the door way as well. As her vision faded to black she heard Lilly protesting and the two strangers say something else.

END

**Well That's all for chapter one. I have a feeling that I'm making this chapter a little all over the place but I promise to make it better!**

**- TOOTSIEROLGIRL/TRG/THATONEPERSON/AUTHORESS/?/OTHERSTUFF**


	2. Chapter 2

**Welp, here it is! Chapter 2 of this story! I keep getting this feeling that I've failed kinda epically(or not) at portraying Szayel here... Oh, well. BTW, I-AM-SO-SO-SORRY-ABOUT-THE-WAIT! More than a month since last update... I feel so diappointed in myself... Either way, thanks to: GrimmyRayne, Ninjapotato, and ThePrincessDragon for following and kotori-san for reviewing! ^^**

Chapter 2 - -Szayel's P.O.V-

"Szayel-sama, the... test subjects have been captured."

Putting down the vial of chemicals I had been holding I dismissed the lower numbered arrancar that came as a messenger, **'It seems Aizen-sama has decided to let me do some research on the inhabitants of that world.'**

I couldn't wait until I could go and retrieve the subjects from whichever rooms they were currently being held in. I had a hypothesis a few months ago in regards to a theory I had heard while studying more closely on the world of the living (a certain phase I had gone through in regards to knowledge).

It was labeled the "Multiverse" or "Parallel Universe Theory".

Naturally, I was very curious and intrigued by this. It had stated basically that there could be the possibility of any number of universes where the worlds would operate on the same principles as any other, but had any and every possible combination of particles and combination of what exists in the universe.

One parallel universe could contain a world where certain events had never existed, or had actually happened. I wanted to explore all possibilities of this theory.

The only problem being the matter of how to enter a parallel universe.

I had originally thought the answer could be found with a worm hole. Aizen-sama had forbidden the act of creating an artificial worm hole anywhere. And so, I came to an alternative answer.

The Garganta.

If we Arrancars could open up Gargantas, which gave access to both the Living World and the Soul Society, perhaps they could be adjusted with time to gain access to the so-called parallel worlds.

After many attempts I succeeded in opening a gate way to a different universe. With this data I had hurried to next meeting to happen and presented my findings. Of course, doing this I had my main goal in mind; to get the permission from Aizen-sama to collect some test subjects.

Which leads me to the desolate room I had come to. It was in the standard fashion of all of the other holding cells in Las Noches. As turned my head over to the direction of the semi-strong spiritual energy coming from the only being in the room.

I once again grinned as I went over and picked up the human.

"I suppose I'll have to wait until your friends arrive, when I start conducting my research."

I quickly shut the entrance door quickly and sonido-ed back to my lab to begin preparing.

-Tabby's P.O.V.-

My mind was in a haze.

The last things I could remember were Icy and Lilly going to bed, and me staying in the living room to watch T.V.

After that everything just went black, and-poof!

I'm waking up, strapped down to a table.

Now, _normally_ I consider myself as the calm and collected, laid-back one of the group.

But, try waking up in a suspiciously lab-like room in my position where you can _clearly_ see a medical... knife-kit, thing-y.

And so I was inclined to start _freaking_ the _fuck_ out.

I struggled and tried to shake any and every part of my body to get out of the restraints. It didn't work at all, but trying seemed like a better idea than dying at that moment in time.

I was still struggling to get out, when I heard some guy talk in Japanese.

How did I know it was Japanese? You don't watch anime often and not pick up on what it sounds like.

I tried to look over and see who it was that was, but couldn't because of him standing in the shadows. And then he walked over a medical instrument in hand still talking.

Boy did I shit bricks.

The guy.

He was Szayel. Honestly, I was hoping to all things good that it was just a seriously fucked up cosplayer.

... As awesome of a cosplay it would have been, it might've actually been worse had it been a seriously fucked up cosplayer. Either way, _real _Szayel or demented Szayel _cosplayer_, I was feeling every last bit of stranger danger.

He came a bit closer with the instrument; I was starting to really panic. Meaning I did the thing I normally do when panicking.

"I'm-not-a-good-specimen-really!You-don't-have-to-do-this-Szayel-you-wouldn't-seriously-kill-an-eighteen-year-old-right?! NONONONNONONONONONONONO-" At that moment, my idiotic rambling was stopped by the sound of people walking in. Szayel just smiled, creepily, and set down the sharp and pointy instrument.

"LET ME DOWN, YOU EMO-LOOKING, SAD CLOWN, _BASTARD_! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF YOU ONLY SPEAK JAPANESE OR WHAT, YOU BETTER _PUT_ _**ME**_-AHH, YOU BITCH!"

My salvation from pointy-death was Lilly. Go figure.

I paused for a couple of seconds and thought.

"LILLY?!"

I got a shout back in reply, "Tabby?! Where are you?! Help me kick the hell outta' these dick heads!"

So, there _I_ was going, 'Eeerr… Yeah… I'm kinda strapped down to a table right about now,' while my friend is was also having a crisis.

"I can't really do that right now!"

"GOD DAMNIT!" After she shouted out I heard a lot of crashing sounds, and then finally I saw her and one of the various shelves topple over. As Szayel appeared behind her I saw him with quite possibly the most... disturbing or pissed off expression I remember seeing only happen once or twice in Bleach.

And then my mind got blown for the second time that day.

As Szayel picked up Lilly, who was struggling in his grip, he started to talk in English.

"You insolent little human, do you have any idea how useful those experiments I had on those shelves might've been?!"

I wasn't really sure what was going through her mind, but considering I'm the only one in our group that's gotten any where past or even very far into the arrancar ark, but she still seemed kinda surprised, too.

"Dude..." I looked on at the scientist as Lilly got sat down and held down by a fraccion. "He...? Szayel speaks English?"

"YOU KNOW THIS DOUCHE?!", Lilly started going ballistic, again, and took a large breath as her face flushed,"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?! WHY ARE YOU STRAPPED DOWN?!"

Lilly turned towards Szayel then, "WHERE DID THAT BLUE-HAIRED PRICK TAKE ICY?!" I froze up,'They got Icy, too?'

"YOU SPEAK ENGLISH DON'T YA', SAY SOME-" Before my brunette friend could finish her sentence Szayel walked over to her and stuck her in the arm with a needle, knocking her out quickly. I coud only stare in disbelief and horror.

Golden eyes passed into my direction,"Now that your annoying friend has been taken care of... There's the matter of _you_," The scientist never even blinking, walked back the short distance over to me.

"You are going to explain a couple of things to me before I give you a drug induced coma for any of the experiments," he talked with a sharp tone and then looked me in the eye.

"I never mentioned my name, and it's doubtful that you can read japanese since you couldn't understand what I had said before, so, _Tabby_, how did you learn my name?"

'... I'm _so screwed_.'

**Okay, that's the end of chapter 2 of HAGML! Once again thank you for reading this so far!**

**P.S. PLEASE TELL ME OF ANY SPELLING MISTAKES YOU SEE(or grammar). THANKS GUYS!**

**-TOOTSIEROLLGIRL/TRGNESS/ODDONE/TOTALLYNOTPRUSSIAINDISGIESE/TRG**


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